"Sultans of Swing" - we are...!!

*Sultans Of Swing*

You get a shiver in the dark
It's raining in the park but meantime
South of the river you stop and you hold everything
A band is blowing Dixie double four time
You feel alright when you hear that music ring

You step inside but you don't see too many faces
Coming in out of the rain to hear the jazz go down
Too much competition too many other places
But not too many horns can make that sound
Way on downsouth way on downsouth London town

You check out Guitar George he knows all the chords
Mind he's strictly rhythm he doesn't want to make it cry or sing
And an old guitar is all he can afford
When he gets up under the lights to play his thing

And Harry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene
He's got a daytime job he's doing alright
He can play honky tonk just like anything
Saving it up for Friday night
With the Sultans with the Sultan of Swing

And a crowd of young boys they're fooling around in the corner
Drunk and dressed in their best brown baggies and their platform soles
They don't give a damn about any trumpet playing band
It ain't what they call rock and roll
And the Sultans played Creole

And then the man he steps right up to the microphone
And says at last just as the time bell rings
'Thank you good night now it's time to go home'
And he make it fast with one more thing
'We are the Sultans of Swing'

1st breakfast in Mesia....

after Subuh prayer, just lepak2, read newspaper... look see look see people start going to the market nearby (parents home is basically at the centre of the township - mosque is in front of the house, community hall next to it, pasar next to the community hall, padang bola a bit further up, pasar mlm at out doorsteps every Tue & Fri evening etc etc)

2nd day of raya, and my 1st morning in Ipoh....

my mom came out from her room, all set... "Enche pegi "nursing home" kejap ya..." (don't ask me why, we call our mom "enche"... dunno where that one came from... a few other relatives also call their mom "enche"... ini Kerinchi influence ker nih...?)... My mom runs an "old folks home"... not many pple, ranging from 15 to 20 'patients'... so everyday, pagi2 Enche akan ke nursing home dulu to check out on the guys there (workers & patients)

she doesn't cook anymore... well, tak ada saper kat rumah dah... only my dad & my mom... so whenever they wanna eat anything, they just buy.... btw, at the age of 69, kurang kederat nak memasak2 nih... and only for 2 of them...? doesn't make sense rite...?

but.. but... but... at the age of 69, still driving huh this "enche"...? hell yeaaahhhh....!! mana boleh duduk diam enche tuh...!

how I long the days when my mom would cook nasi lemak for me whenever I come home (... from France during university summer holidays, hmmm, that's just about 10ish years ago...)... and rendang ayam for lunch....

maka dgn muka toye nyer, dgn penuh poyo nyer, si anak bongsu nih bertanya... "enche, ada orang jual nasi lemak tak....?"... soalan innocent dgn penuh rasa tak bersalah.... (to read : "nanti enche balik, enche belikan faizul nasi lemak...?"... hehehe...)

Enche replied... "mana ada org jual nasi lemak lagi nih... org beraya lagi...."

Damn.....!!!!

later in the morning, we went to 'Kuale Kangso' to beraya at my uncles & aunties' houses (my mom's siblings)... 1st house, rumah Ayah Lang... guess what Mak Lang prepared for 'Raya visitors"...?

NASI LEMAAAAAKKKKKK......!!!!

Panas2 lagi....! Fuyo bestnyer...!! had my 1st breakfast in Mesia at 10am... Nasi lemak wehhhh....!!

jgn jeles, k....!! hehe...

p/s ok, ok, ok.... am bad... dah besar panjang nih pun tak sedar diri lagi... but, but, but... sebab tu lah best jadik anak bongsu niihhhhh....!! hehe... sekali lagi... jgn jeleeessssss...!! :)

Welder put out of nut misery (The Star 31st August 2008)

JOHOR BARU: The welder who was hospitalised after he used a nut to elongate his penis was finally put out of his misery when doctors removed the offending spare part.

It is learnt that staff from the Hospital Sultanah Aminah drained out some of the blood and cut away some skin on the upper layer of his organ to remove the nut.


Solid metal: A nut similar to the one that was removed from the welder’s penis.

The 20-something welder was trying to increase the length of his penis ahead of his engagement next week by weighing himself down with the nut when the nut got stuck following an erection.

Director Dr Daud Abdul Rahim said doctors got the nut off at around 11pm on Friday.

“The patient is now recovering and we hope to discharge him today,” he said.

Dr Daud declined to say whether the patient would suffer any long-term injuries.

The welder, who works in Singapore, but is from Taman Sri Skudai, sought treatment at the hospital on Thursday afternoon after he was unable to get the nut off himself.

Both hospital authorities and the state Fire and Rescue Department were involved in attempts to remove the nut.

This is the second case in the past week involving objects stuck on penises.

On Aug 25, firemen were summoned to the Universiti Malaya Medical Centre in Kuala Lumpur to cut a steel ring from a patient’s penis after numerous attempts by doctors failed to dislodge it.

It is believed the patient, in his 20s, had slipped the ring onto his penis to increase his sexual prowess.

Kat mana dia belajar teori nih...? Yaz... ko ada dengo org Johor citer kat ko pasal petua nih tak....? memang dahsat... bomoh manalah yg ajo dia nih... rasa kesian aku tengok geng2 Mesia belajo ajaran2 sesat nih.... hehe

Belief in Prayers...

In a small town in Kerala, India, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.


Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.


The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.


In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

"I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't."

kah kah kah...!! camna nih? camna nak decide...? kecian Tuan Hakim tuh, poneng kopalo...!!

Mawi melawat Dubai... Dubai menakjubkan

Oleh SHAKILAWATI ABD RAHMAN
shakilawati@ hmetro.com. my


DUBAI melengkapi kembara Langkah Mawi World. Destinasi ke-13 ini membuka mata dan minda Asmawi Ani terhadap kehebatan seni bina unik yang menjadi kebanggaan masyarakat Islam.

Bersama enam krew, bintang paling popular tiga tahun berturut-turut ini berkampung di kota canggih itu bermula 22 April hingga 1 Mei lalu dengan kerjasama Dubai Tourism Commerce and Marketing (DTCM).

Dibantu pemandu pelancong dari Lama Tours, rombongan yang menetap di hotel lima bintang, Movenpick ini memanfaatkan hari pertama dengan berkunjung ke Muzium Dubai yang mempamerkan tinggalan sejarah seperti senjata, pengangkutan air, alat muzik, perdagangan, peralatan mencari mutiara dan rumah di padang pasir yang dipanggil Al Kaimah dan Al Arish. Uniknya, setiap rumah ini mempunyai menara angin yang berfungsi sebagai penyejuk suhu.

Pemandangan indah Dubai dapat dinikmati dari atas bot yang dipanggil Abra Water Taxi ketika menyeberangi Dubai Creek dengan bayaran semurah 90 sen. Menurut Mawi, meskipun Dubai bandar moden, bot masih menjadi antara pengangkutan penting.

Penggambaran turut dilakukan di pasar rempah, bazar emas (Gold Souk) dan di Jalan Sheikh Zayed yang megah dengan bangunan mercu tanda dan bangunan tertinggi di dunia.

Lebih bererti apabila Mawi berpeluang meninjau projek terbesar Nakheel, syarikah hartanah terbesar di dunia, merasai pengalaman hebat di hotel enam bintang The Palace Old Town, Bab-Al Shams di tengah padang pasir dan Burj Al Arab yang terkenal sebagai mercu tanda Dubai.

“Tidak lengkap perjalanan andai tidak menempuh pengalaman mencabar di Desert Safari dan Hatta Mountain Safari. Jika Desert Safari saya mengharungi lautan pasir dengan pacuan empat roda, Hatta yang terletak berhampiran sempadan Oman pula terbentang indah gunung batu yang kehitaman warnanya.

“Di tengah gunung kering-kontang ini ada mata air yang dipanggil Wadi. Sungguh menakjubkan, airnya sejuk dan nyaman. Ramai juga pelancong mandi dalam kolam sedalam lapan meter ini.

“Menyaksikan Jumana — Secret of the Desert Laser Show juga tidak kurang hebatnya. Pertunjukan pantulan cahaya laser, hologram yang diperkemaskan dengan kesan bunyi ini memaparkan cerita raja dan pahlawan Arab. Persembahan ini boleh disaksikan kira-kira 500 pengunjung setiap hari,” katanya.

Tambahnya: “Dari pemerhatian saya, orang Dubai suka membina bangunan terbesar, tertinggi dan tercanggih. Pendek kata, semua yang terbaik belaka seperti Emirates Mall yang diiktiraf sebagai pusat beli-belah terbesar di negara Timur Tengah dan Ski Dubai, pusat ski tertutup terbesar dunia. Mungkin dengan ekonomi yang baik, mereka mampu merancang dan melaksanakan projek mega seperti ini.” Menerusi kembara ini juga, pengikut setia Langkah Mawi World dapat menyaksikan keunikan Chill Out yang dibina daripada batu-bata. Lounge yang terletak di Dubai Time Square itu mencatat suhu -6° Celsius. Lebih menarik, hiasan dalaman, cawan dan gelas semuanya dibuat daripada air dan diimport khas dari Kanada.

“Saya sempat membeli kain untuk keluarga di bazar Naif yang popular sebagai pusat jualan tekstil dan barangan elektronik. Rambang mata dibuatnya; sutera, renda dan sifon dijual dengan harga jauh lebih murah berbanding Malaysia.

“Penggambaran berakhir di Dubai World Trade Centre. Di kesempatan ini saya ingin mengucapkan ribuan terima kasih kepada Astro Ria, KTO, Visit Britain, DTCM, Gulf Air, media, kru dari Ethnic Network, Maestro Talent dan semua individu yang terlibat secara langsung dan tidak langsung menjayakan Langkah Mawi World,” kata Mawi yang berharap penonton tidak melepaskan peluang menonton empat episod rakaman penggambaran di Dubai di Astro Ria, setiap Ahad, jam 5 petang.

note : desert safari - done, ski dubai - done, hatta mountain - done, abra to cross the creek - done, Jumana secret of the desert - done, spice souk - done, Gold souk - done, Dubai museum - done... yang tak cuba lagi - Chill out (bar ais batu, sejuk weh!!), and Naif Souk - tak minat lah nak pegi shopping2 kain nih... lagipun Naif souk baru jer terbakar sebulan lepas... now you see, now you don't!!!

Useful Tips....

Breast implants... Must see...!!

Dunno what to say...! Speechless...

The Village of Fucking!

Believe it or not...!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria

What's the F---ing joke?
September 3, 2005

Leave me in peace with this F---ing! - FRANZ MEINDL, the town's new mayor

The 104 inhabitants of F---ing, Austria are tired of pesky tourists - and they're fighting back, writes Toby Harnden.

For those travelling to it across the border from Germany, it is a long way further on from Petting - where some people prefer to stop for a while rather than going all the way. It might appropriately be twinned with the Amish town of Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Or perhaps with Condom, France. Or Climax, Colorado.

In the world of crosswords, cryptically the name of the village, which begins with F, has seven letters and is not for those under 16, could be: "Monarch follows soccer team, you hear."

A quick crossword clue might ask you, po-faced, for the gerund form of the English profanity that refers to the principal act leading to procreation.

An etymologist would know that its verb was derived from the Latin futuere and the Old German ficken, meaning "to strike or penetrate". The lexicographer can trace its first recorded use to John Florio's A World of Words, a 1598 dictionary.

D. H. Lawrence used it in Lady Chatterley's Lover in 1928, but it was 32 years before it could be published legally. The playwright Kenneth Tynan was the first one to utter it on television four decades ago.

But for the conservative inhabitants of a settlement called F---ing in rural Upper Austria near Salzburg that comprises just 32 houses (population: 104), the English meaning of their village's name is just one giant headache.

One night, tourists stole all four road signs on its approaches. Since records began, there has been no crime there - apart from the perennial theft of what officials call "street furniture".

Now the authorities are fighting back. The signs have been set in concrete bases and Kommandant Schmidtberger, the local police chief, hints at clandestine operations to combat what he calls "foreign criminals" disturbing the alpine order.

Around the village, corn grows in neat rows, stacks of wood seem almost geometrically arranged and every lawn is clipped each week. "God bless our work" is painted over the threshold of one rustic dairy farm.

"Let's just say there are plans in place to deal with this," the Kommandant warned darkly. "What they are, I am not at liberty to disclose, but we will not stand for the F---ing signs being removed. It may be very amusing for you British, but F---ing is simply F---ing to us. What is this big F---ing joke? It is puerile."

Local guide Andreas Behmuller said that each nationality had its own priorities when visiting the area. "The Germans all want to see the Mozart house in Salzburg. Italians and Russians always celebrate New Year here. Every American seems to care only about The Sound of Music (filmed around Salzburg in 1965). The occasional Japanese wants to see Hitler's birthplace in Braunau. But for the British, it's all about F---ing."

The village is believed to have been founded in the sixth century by a Bavarian noble called Focko. The Germanic ending "ing" means "family of". Its existence was first documented in 1070 and records show that 20 years later its lord was Adalpertus de Fucingin. By 1303, it was known as Fukching and in 1532 the official designation was Fugkhing. It was not until 1760 that the village took its modern name, which is pronounced in German with a guttural "oo" sound.

After World War II, British and American soldiers stationed near Salzburg noticed the name and, to the bemusement of villagers, began to visit the place and be photographed beside its signs while striking jocular poses.

The number of tourists who take a quick detour has been increasing ever since. Now there is even the occasional tour bus.

"Here we have tranquillity, clean air, lakes, acres of forests and some of the most breathtaking vistas one could imagine," says Augustina Lindlbauer, who runs a guesthouse in a medieval pile just outside the village.

"Yet still there is this obsession with F---ing. Just this morning I had to tell an English lady who stopped by that there were no F---ing postcards."

The one local who tried to cash in on the village's growing fame was threatened and shouted at in the street. Josef Winkler set up an internet site selling T-shirts featuring the village sign and carrying the message: "I like F---ing in Austria." They were selling well and there were even discussions with the men's magazine Maxim about a possible promotion.

"It was a bit of fun that didn't hurt anyone, but I found out that in this region you just can't do something like that," says a chastened Mr Winkler. "The whole thing became a real trial for me and I had to stop. People are very traditional here."

Newly elected mayor Franz Meindl refuses to discuss the issue, on the basis that any publicity would simply lead to more signs being stolen. "Leave me in peace with this F---ing," he says angrily, before slamming down the telephone.

His predecessor, Siegfried Hauppl, was equally dismissive when he was interrupted playing a game of Skat. "I am no longer the mayor so this F---ing problem is nothing to do with me," he growled, turning his back and studying his cards.

At the area council offices in adjoining Tarsdorf, a young planning official called Gabriele, who asked for her surname to be kept secret for fear of provoking reprisals, revealed that each sign cost at least EUR300 ($A490) to replace and this was reflected in local taxes.

"There was even some discussion about changing the name because it has become such a serious issue," she says.

"But everyone decided that F---ing had been here for so long that it would be a shame to consign it to the past.

"The older people don't like being laughed at by some of the younger ones from other villages, but we are proud of our beautiful F---ing."


- The Sunday Telegraph