Monday, March 23, 2009

Smart child...!

A first grade teacher, Ms Neelam was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Boy, what is your problem?" The Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions, he is to go back to the first grade and behave. Ms Neelam agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him. The Boy agreed to take the test.

Principal : What is 3 x 3?
Boy : 9
Principal : What is 6 x 6?
Boy : 36

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looked at Ms Neelam and told her: "I think the Boy can go to the third grade." Ms Neelam asked the principal if she can ask the Boy some of her own questions. Both the principal and the Boy agreed.

Ms Neelam : What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy : Legs!
Ms Neelam : What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Boy : Pockets!
Ms Neelam : What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious
and contains Thin whitish liquid?
Boy : Coconut!
Ms Neelam : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, the Boy was taking charge.

Boy : Bubblegum!

Ms Neelam : What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Boy : Shake hands

Ms Neelam : Now I will ask some, "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy : Yep!
Ms Neelam : You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy : Tent
Ms Neelam : A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always have me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tensed and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy : Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam : I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.
Boy : Nose
Ms Neelam : I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy : Arrow!
Ms Neelam : What word starts with a "F" and ends in "K" that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy : Firetruck!
Ms Neelam : What word starts with a "F" and ends in "K" and if u dont get
it u have to use ur hand?
Boy : Fork!
Ms Neelam : What is it that all men have one, it is longer on some men than
on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his
wife after they're married?
Boy : SURNAME!
Ms Neelam : What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping and is responsible for making love?
Boy : HEART!

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher:

"Send this Boy to College! I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Rendang Unta...

Lupa lak nak citer... remember the 5kilos of camel meat...? sampai Ipoh, Wah immediately cooked rendang unta... special dish only served to relatives, and close friends during the kenduri... senang kan? nobody asked, "bawak aper balik dari Dubai..."?
voila... rendang unta, sedappppp...!! tender meat.... and dimasak rendang lak tuh...! perggghhh...! towards 3pm, dah abissss...

daging unta is red meat, so you get all the good & bad elements of red meat... itu jer... tak ada maknanyer "panas ler, itu ler, ini ler...". Unta tu jer yang panas sebab duduk kat padang pasir, makan daging dia biasa jer mcm makan daging ler... Macam2 hal orang kita nih mereka2 "modern myths"...


Thanksgiving...

Selama nih, my mom has been like moving from one villa to another for her nursing home... sebabnya, tuan rumah nak rumah balik laaa, rumah dah tak sesuai sebab kecil laaa... etc etc... so banyak kali dah pindah... maka rezeki di beri Tuhan, terdapat lah rumah yg sebijik nih, yang menetapi ciri2 keselamatan & keselesaan penghuni, yang ingin disewakan, dan preferably, dijual terus...

Maka apa lagi, seperti semua "wise lady shoppers", cepat2 my mom "chop" the house... Rumah disewa dahulu, masuk bersama penghuni2 yang sedia ada, then later (1 year after moving in), my mom bought the house... banyak jugak karenah2 birokrasi yg menyebabkan urus niaga pembelian rumah nih tertangguh2 beberapa kali... Jadik, apabila hal2 jualbeli rumah ini settle a few weeks back, my mom pun nak ler buatkan "kenduri kesyukuran" sempena terlaksa sudah niat ingin memiliki rumah tersebut. kecil ajer kenduri nya... tahlil & yassin...

itu punca pertamanya...

then my abang pun join ler sekali.., sempena dia dah selamat khatam belajo utk mendapatkan gelaran "Doktor Falsampah" dia tuh... Jeles teman.., how can...? Pple pay him to go study2 one huh...? huaaa...!!! I haven't even finished paying back my degre scholarship (kena bayar balik daa... kes langgar kontrak... tak mau keje gomen...)

maka sedara mara, jiran tetangga dijemput dtg... then my abang sulung, Yeop, yg menetap kat Kuching confirm balik utk kenduri tuh... Jarang Yeop dpt balik, balik sekeluarga banyak belanja tuh, the last time that we had a complete forum (during raya) was like more than 10 years ago... Kali nih, Yeop balik bersama Yong (bininya), dan cucu2 deme sekali (sesi suai kenal cucu2 baru bersama ahli2 keluarga kat Peghak.. terutamanya Tok Wan Tok Wan dan cicit2nya...)

Maka apabila my Mom got the news that the 2 cicits will also be there, apa lagi... ini kes nak menyambut ahli2 keluarga yang baru nih...!! maka tertimbul lah idea buat "naik buai & marhaban" for the 2 cicits... Dari kenduri kecil, maka bertambah besar ler kenduri nyer... Asal jemputan 200 orang jer..., but I think the people who came were double that figure...

the big towkays.... from left, my mom, Mak Yong (Yong sebab she is the sulung from bini kedua Tok... after my natural grandmom passed away tumpah darah giving birth to a stillborn baby... in between my Mom & Mak Yong, got Wah, my makcik aka nanny aka 2nd mom...), Yeop yang balik dari Kuching nikit belon Air Asia..., and my dad... semua anak sulung, kecuali my dad, anak bongsu... hehe, my gang...:)



Atikah, anak bongsu Mak Yong, dapat 6A1 utk SPM (which was a surprise, coz, I for sure, was expecting her to score at least 8As..., tak ada rezeki ler tuh...)... and for the good result, dia dpt Ipod from her "Dubai cousin"... alaa... Ipod tuh, I got for free... drpd bagi kat anak2 buah tanpa sebab2 tertentu, baik bagi kat depa who deserve it, as motivation to do better, rite...? btw, yang ambik gambo nih is Nabil (the new Pak Su of the cicits), who also sat for SPM, but keputusan hancus terbarai... sajer jer suruh dia ambik gambo nih, kasik dia jeles sket... hehe...

so, still nobody picking up the grand price huh? return ticket to Dubai for straight As... takkan tiap2 tahun nak extend offer...? macam dah basi ler pulak...


Kak Eda on the left (bini Dr Falsampah baru tuh... haha...), dia pun tengah mengabihkan tesis dia utk juga menjadik Dr Falsampah jugak (insyaAllah abis this May)... on the right, Dr Haikal... err Kapten Haikal one huh...? perghh... askar bidan terjun daaa... latihan tentera sekadar cukup syarat jer utk masuk army... Haikal is Dr gigi... Bapaknya kepada Khairun Nisha'...



Doktor tak doktor, bakal Doktor tak bakal doktor, bila kenduri, jangan nak perasan best... tolong gotong royong buat kerja kenduri sekali... Yang kat belakang tuh, the Bibik(s) yang menolong menjaga warga emas...



My sister... pun lecturer jugak asalnya... kat Politeknik Ungku Omar.... kita orang nih anak cikgu, so ada ler beberapa yang juga menjadik pendidik (Yeop, dulu trainer kat Bumiputera Bank, kak Hanim, lecturer kat PUO and abang Razak kat UUM)



Partners in crime...!! the twins... tarikh lahir same as mine one you know...!! so, a special bond with the twins..:) Jangan jadik setan mcm Aichu depa sudah laaaa... ahaks...!!



the food... btw, table cloth merah tuh...!! so prosperous oneee...!!



Gulai terung



ulam2... perghhhh....!! sedapnyer...!! and so healthy one...!


sambal belacan satu "besen nasi", ikan terubuk kering


" ikan terubuk kering"... err... or is it "ikan kering terubuk"...???? which is correct?


rendang tok Mak Nik... (popular rendang tok maker in Ipoh... often trading kat Pasar2 Tani sekitar Perak)



acar buah


kuah kacang utk satay (gambar satay lupa ambik laaa...)

ikan kembung & keli bakar....!! hmmm yummy...!





kek lapis specially brought from Sarawak (home made one you know...!)


manisan, buah oren (Indonesian kata buah jeruk... apa2 sajalah Labu...!!)


missing in action, manisan dadih (sampai lambat, but cepat abis....), dan satay2 yang beribu2 cucuk, makanan paling laku during the kenduri...



so, the event started with the cicits naik buai (morning 10am)... marhaban, marhaban... welcome, welcome...! I must say that the marhaban group was really good... sedap dengar dia orang bermarhaban... I also, nearly fall asleep, mendayu2 kena dodoi dek lagu, dek suara lunak merdu of the "Opahs" from the neighbourhood... :)




after buai, the "Opahs marhaban" proceeded to eating2... depa start dulu...


the "Opahs Marhaban" got uniform one you know...! must got style maaa... walaupun group nih sekadar aktiviti masyarakat sekampung (er, "setaman perumahan"...?)

after Opahs marhaban, the Toks came in, bertahlil, bersyukur, berdoa.... 11h30am






then the Toks bersantap makan tengahari...




other relatives arrived as well throughout the kenduri, makan2... sembang2, tanya khabar, gossip2... the usual gebang2 sedara mara... Makcik Sa'ayah seberang sungai (rf entry : teratak usung tepi sungai) is in the photo... simple and sempoi as usual...






meeting bawah pokok...? deme kate sekarang nih dah jadik trend memanjang ler pulak kat Peghak nih... "bermeeting bawah pokok" macam Dewan Undangan Negeri Perak bersidang baru2 nih... hehe...

yours truly in action... bukan gaya jer tau...! memang bertungkus lumus tolong one...! baru sampai sehari dari Dubai, terus kena pulun perabih...!!

the partners in crime, with the head honcho...? haha... the twins Azizi, Azri, and Faizal, my cousin's (aka adik) husband...


Dr Haikal, kira nak tunjuk tough ler tu, sempena dah jadik askar nih kan... haha... mencuci the last few bekas2 after the kenduri...

the kenduri went well, alhamdulillah... meriah, ramai sedara mara, jiran tetangga, rakan taulan yang dtg... 3 of my classmates in France dulu pun dtg gak (Sani sekeluarga, Bob, Jijoi...)... it rained a bit in the morning before the guess started to arrive, and it rained again when we were packing up later in the afternoon... Hujan berkat tuh...! alhamdulillah...

It was a good meaningful event, especially to catch up with relatives... sambil dapat mengimarahkan rumah jagaan warga emas nih... semoga mendapat berkat yg berkekalan... aminnnn...

p/s Makcik Sa'ayah came with putu piring kuala kangso sebekas kecil sebagai buah tangan (you see, orang beradat tak dtg tangan kosong...!!) and guess who finished them all.....?! siapa lagi...? muka yang ini ler... dah berbulan2 tak dapat putu piring tu beb...!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Cucu-cucu,,,,

Nak buat camna... muda2 begini dah jadik Atuk.... Tok Chu... hehe...
Cucu naik buai... Marhaban ya Khairun Nisha', ya Riad Danish
Opah dan cucu2nya... gilir2 naik buai...
Maknya (bini my nephew)... dgn cucu yg pertama Khairun Nisha'
Maknya (my niece - Wani), dgn cucu yg kedua, Riad Danish
Opahnya (my sis in law), orang Sarawak, depa semua tinggai kat Kuching... but sempena nak mengingatkan warisan2 Perak, maka neneknya dipanggil "Opah"... kelasss...!! :)
ala cian, cian dia, ala cian cian dia ngantuk nak tido... orang nyanyi marhaban sedap sgt tuh, kena dodoi sampai nak tido...
Tok Chu nya... hehe... dgn Riad Danish... cucu nbr 2

Pak Yeopnya (my eldest nephew), dgn anaknya, dan anak si Wani... eating time...!! :)



Opahnya... dan Pak Chu nya... hehe... not me anymore, am Tok Chu now... hehe...

Pusat Jagaan Ikhtiar Selesa Villa

This is my mom's activity after retirement...

ada khemah sebab buat kenduri kesyukuran a week back...


the Villa...


picture speaks a thousand words....

masyarakat prihatin saling bantu membantu

masyarakat prihatin kunjung berkunjung


sure doktor tuh cepat abis periksa gigi.... sebaaaabbbbbb... gigi semua dah tak ada...!! kuang kuang kuang...!! hehe, joking jer...


aktiviti2 mengimarahkan rumah jagaan...


huaaa...!! Maxis send their selected students one you know...!! memupuk jiwa perihatin di kalangan kanak2

ini kerja my brother & sis in law, kat UUM ler... abih tuh nak buat camna, sorang ajo sociology, sorang lagi ajo HR... senang depa anto ke sini jaaa...


cucu2 menziarahi opah2 & atuk2...


persatuan2 kat sekolah pun dtg ziarah...

siap2 menunggu orang dtg kenduri... ala2 bentara la tuh... err... sambil2 tuh, kita "menganyam ketupat" dulu...!! haha...

alaaa... cenyum ler cikit Opah... orang nak dtg tuh...!! smiling smiling laaa... nak sambut org dtg kenduri nih... er, awat tak join "menganyam ketupat"? :)


apa tangkap2 gambar...? seybok la lu...! (Opah sudah jeling marah...!)

penyeri rumah....

penawar hati...


waduh...!! bibik2nya sedang makan... enak bangeeettttt...!! :)


errr... kami kurang mendengar... kalau nak panggil, tak payah bagi salam, kasi hon saja kuat kuat...!! hahahaha....


jangan nak melawat out of visiting hour...!! kang Misi Ani marah kang...!! kena halau lagi ada...!


errr... anak towkay also cannot huh...? CANNOT...!!

Misi Ani, aka towkay besat, aka my mom.. kang belakang tuh, Misi Noridah (Misi Gigi daaa...), aka Mak Yong, my mom's younger sister...