Project Management...

yang aku paling suka "how the sales executive described it" .... hehe... memang pun selalu camtu... hahaha...

Welder put out of nut misery (The Star 31st August 2008)

JOHOR BARU: The welder who was hospitalised after he used a nut to elongate his penis was finally put out of his misery when doctors removed the offending spare part.

It is learnt that staff from the Hospital Sultanah Aminah drained out some of the blood and cut away some skin on the upper layer of his organ to remove the nut.


Solid metal: A nut similar to the one that was removed from the welder’s penis.

The 20-something welder was trying to increase the length of his penis ahead of his engagement next week by weighing himself down with the nut when the nut got stuck following an erection.

Director Dr Daud Abdul Rahim said doctors got the nut off at around 11pm on Friday.

“The patient is now recovering and we hope to discharge him today,” he said.

Dr Daud declined to say whether the patient would suffer any long-term injuries.

The welder, who works in Singapore, but is from Taman Sri Skudai, sought treatment at the hospital on Thursday afternoon after he was unable to get the nut off himself.

Both hospital authorities and the state Fire and Rescue Department were involved in attempts to remove the nut.

This is the second case in the past week involving objects stuck on penises.

On Aug 25, firemen were summoned to the Universiti Malaya Medical Centre in Kuala Lumpur to cut a steel ring from a patient’s penis after numerous attempts by doctors failed to dislodge it.

It is believed the patient, in his 20s, had slipped the ring onto his penis to increase his sexual prowess.

Kat mana dia belajar teori nih...? Yaz... ko ada dengo org Johor citer kat ko pasal petua nih tak....? memang dahsat... bomoh manalah yg ajo dia nih... rasa kesian aku tengok geng2 Mesia belajo ajaran2 sesat nih.... hehe

Sepatuku, sepatu baru...!! hehe...

The last time I bought my sport shoes was 3 years ago... memang diguna utk bersukan ler... gi jogging mainly, dan also diguna utk gi jengjalan.... memang banyak berjasa laj sepatu2 tu menahan berat badanku yang turun naik bagaikan bebudak main yoyo.... hehe... dua tiga minggu yang lepas adalah tengok2 sepatu2 tuh, dan terdetik dihati.... "may be dah cukup umur kasut nih... may be dah kena tukar..."

kasut nih kalau pakai, memang OK lagi... memang rasa selesa lagi, tapi depannya dah mula merekah2... ala2 dah season ler selalu tersepak batu dan pasir kat sini....

tengok tuh... tak ker kejam tuan punya dia kalau masih disuruh bekerja...??? hehe

yang ini pulak, selain ada bekas terkena abu rokok sampai terbako sket, rupanya masih OK... masih boleh dibawak berjalan2....

tapi dah tak boleh diguna utk pegi jogging.... sebab kat belakang tumit tu, dah terkoyak... kalau diguna jugak utk jogging, maka akan melecitlah kaki ku.... (dah cuba dah... 2 kali melecit kaki...)


hari Khamis malam Jumaat lepas gi Ibn Battuta mall... gi tengok wayang citer Mama Mia... sambil menunggu nak masuk pawagam, gi ler jengjalan... maka ternampak ler satu kedai nih tengah buat "Dubai Summer Surprises" sales (DSS). tinggal dua hari jer lagi masa tuh....

kasut nih rege asal AED320... after discount, AED160

yang ini pulak rege asal AED330, after discount AED165....
maka apa lagi... hari nih, sanggup gua ke Ibn Battuta balik (today is last day of DSS sales) utk membeli kasut2 tuh...!! hepi bebeno ler pun lepas beli kasut2 tuh...

kasut bersukan dan kasut raya sekali...!! hehe...

sepatu2ku.... sepatu baruuuuuuuu....!!!! :) yeahhhh....!!!

Ramadan Kareem....!

'He who fasts during Ramadan with faith and seeks his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven; he who prays during the night in Ramadan with faith and seeks his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven; and he who passes Lailat al- Qadr in prayer with faith and seeks his reward from Allah will have his past sins forgiven.'

May His Blessings Be With You

Ramadan Kareem to all...!!

Selamat Menyambut Hari Kebangsaan

Semoga Malaysia terus membangun dan terus maju, semoga rakyat2 negara ini menikmati kehidupan yang sewajarnya, semoga keadilan terserlah untuk semua rakyat, semoga keamanan berkekalan, semoga rakyat berbangga dengan negaranya, semoga Malaysia menjadi sebuah negara yang tersohor, dan rakyatnya disegani dan dihormati seluruh penduduk dunia....

amin....!!

Assisted intelligence/mentality

I was glad that DSAI won with a massive majority ystdy... I just can't wait for CHANGE... really hope that he will bring positive change to the country... utk terus maju membangun dan kehadapan, menghadapi cabaran2 globalisasi...

unfortunately, this morning, I received an email from a Yahoo group of which I am a member... it say's....

"Kalau si anwar ni jadi PM macam mana dua orang anakku nak dapat scholarship belajar kat USA? hermm... sakit kelapa"

hmmm... am so disappointed to see such remark... dah pegi merantau jauh2 sampai ke UAE, tapi assisted mentality masih ada.... I am assuming (just for the sake of the discussion), that this person is earning quite OK, well... working in Dubai maaa... (they don't just get someone without special experience to come and work here...), but still melukut ditepi gantang...? hmmm....

I have heard stories where Uncle2, Auntie2, Ah So2, Apek2 working so hard day and nite in their kebun, or grocery store to ensure that they have enough money to send their kids to university... I have also heard of fellow non Malay Malaysians who had to work hard part time during their university time to earn some pocket money to pay for tuition fees...

are Malays not courageous enough to go through some hardship to ensure a better future for their kids...? Melayu nih forever "layu" ker...? may be kena buat "rebranding" exercise... tukar jadik "Memaju" ker, "Mewasan" ker (melayu + berwawasan) , or just simply "Malaysian"?

perlukah kita terus bergantung kepada biasiswa? (luckily that now we have more education loan instead of scholarships....).

we have to expect the worse and be prepared for it.... dan bukannya terus mengharapkan bantuan, subsidi, bantuan, subsidi, bantuan, subsidi... and more bantuan, and more subsidi....

am not saying that the government shouldn't help....

am saying that we should STOP expecting that somebody will help us...

and take the necessary measures to ensure that we can survive and succeed without help....

hmmm tak tahu ler....

Do one brave thing today.....

This poster reminds me somebody in Johor.... dia tinggal komen laser2 orang, lepas tuh, dia lariiikkkk....!!

Sagem Orga Dubai - the office & the new gang

Sempena masuk opis baru nih (err.... kompeni baru...), so pemandangan pun bertukar ler... Office is located at Dubai Internet City (free zone for companies related to ICT)

view from meeting room, kat belakang tuh is the sea... actually it is there where "The Palm" is located (tanah yg ditambak yg bentuk pokok kurma tuh..). tak nampak sebab kena block dek bangunan2 nih... we are only on the 9th floor, if we are at the top floor (40th floor), memang sure nampak The Palm. bangunan sebelah kiri tuh is where CNN and MBC are located (CNN sebelah kiri, MBC sebelah kanan - MBC is like Media Prima ler... they own a few regional channels). ada 3 ekor budak Mesia keje kat MBC (kat bangunan tu ler...)

dunno what building this is... but tall and pleasant looking

this is the view to the left of the meeting room. ntah ler bangunan amende nih...

this is the area where I am seated (at the far end left side)

the dry pantry

view from my desk facing the entrance... dulu dah ada opis sendiri, sekarang masuk cubicle balik... isk, isk... sedih...!! ranking turun from previous job... tapi tak pa, so far I like this job... maleh nak ambik tanggungjawab tinggi2 nih... Sales Manager dah cukup dah... dah cukup makan, kira OKlah tuh... hehe... meja yg dekat nih, tempat keje si Jovitha... meja gua sebelah meja dia...

ini bebudak kat opis... from left, Radha, Indian national, accountant, Jovitha, Indian national, Technical support, and Zishan Pakistani national, another sales manager... (dia jaga Pakistan & Somalia....). Nice & friendly colleagues....

makan2 masa lunch....

This is Marizel, filipina, customer service & admin.... she's leaving end Sep (tapi dah ada pengganti yg baru masuk hari nih....).... gua tak suka sama dia si Marizel nih... hehehe... dia nih bitchy sket... menyampah aku... perasan terer lak tuh. nasib baik dia nak ciao, kalau tak, memang aku nak sabo minah pinoy nih....

Zishan again....

si Jovitha... nak tahu nama penuh dia aper? Sweety Jovitha Coutinho.... boleh? sumpah itu nama penuh dia... rasernyer ada darah Portuguese dia nih (turun termurun la, where the name comes from). Kat kampung dia, dia kata semua org panggil dia Sweety, bila dah sampai Dubai nih jer, dia start guna nama Jovitha.... muda lagi, baru 25 tahun... dan masih single... saper2 berminat, cepat bagitahu aku, aku boleh jadik agent introduce kat si Jovitha nih... very sweet one you know...!! Aku tak charge tinggi2, aku ambik 20% jer.... hehe...

itulah kengkawan2 baru kat opis kompeni baru nih.... missing in the photos are : Jessica (MD Sagem Orga Dubai), Dutch national, si Tariq Mohammed, my immediate boss (Business Development Director, umur baru 32 tahun) and si Amfil, minah filipina yg akan ganti si Marizel (dia tak masuk opis lagi masa gua ambik gambar nih...)

so far, pleasant working environment, doing things which I am familiar with... so kira memang OKlah setakat nih... semoga berkekalan lamalah doanya...

Btw, minggu lepas one company in Beirut Lebanon, called me and asked me if I am interested to join them... local Lebanese based company in Beirut... (tu lah tuh, bila dah start keje, ada jer lah kompeni2 lain gatal2 offer kejer...)... dengan penuh sopan dan santunnya gua menolak invitation tuh.... GILER ko? nak masuk another local Arab company macam PCard dulu? Kompeni Lebanese pulak tuh...!! siap hangus gua kena goreng bagus2nyer nanti...! dah la dgn PCard hari tuh kena goreng masak2... serik.... serik...!!! trauma sampai mati kang...!! hehe...

Law of Garbage - interesting read

got this one from a friend

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.....

'Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.'

AirAsia to fly to London in March

the news here : AirAsia to fly to London in March

aik...!! tahun lepas kata flight to London ada stop over kat Sharjah airport, UAE...? nih dah nak gi direct lak...? apa la lu Fernandes... kasik potong stim sajaaa...!!!

kita org kat sini dah syiok2 dah tunggu AirAsiaX nak sampai sini... boley balik Mesia selalu... dah lah rege flight dah naik...!! Kengkawan pun semua nak dtg ziarah...!!



hmmm....!! naik FlyYeti la jugak via Kathmandu...!!

Rombongan Nyonya Mei Lee ke MAHA 2008

Pada suatu hari, seorang Nyonya bernama Nyonye Mei Lee datang ke KL untuk kali pertama selepas menang loteri. Beliau check-in disebuah hotel mewah dan seorang pelayan membawakan begnya menuju ke bilik penginapan Nyonya Mei Lee.

Nyonya Mei Lee dengan girangnye mengikuti langkah-langkah pelayan itu dan ketika pelayan tersebut menutup pintu, Nyonya Mei Lee melihat ke sekeliling.

Beliau tetiba menjadi marah lalu berkata kepada pelayan tersebut.

"Eksekius mi, lu jangan ingat wa tua, mali dari kampung, tatak tau duduk hotel.. sudah baya latut latut, lu kasi ini bilik ka??! kicik!! tatak tibi, tatak lemari tatak apa pun??? katil mau titun pun tatak????, haiyyaaa.. mau tipu olang ka??!!"

Lalu pelayan itu pun menjawab, "Sabar Nyonya, ini baru lift, maaa...."

hehehe
ini gua ambik sebijik2 from a friend.... no racist connotation, k...!! the Malaysian Chi dealect just add more charm to the joke...:)

Bagus punyer partner...!! hehe...

caya lah...!!

Hear Ye...!! Hear Ye...!!

am so happy, proud, relieved....!!

some of the UiTM students do have balls after all...!!
read on here : "A Voice of UiTM Minority"

"One particular UiTM student was asked to wear black coloured clothing by a senior when he refused to as the colour black on that day meant supporting the protest and he did not support it. The senior could only respond in ways such as asking him whether he was a jew or a homosexual. And this brilliant friend of mine then just answered, “No, I’m a muslim and remember when the Prophet Muhammad SAW ruled Medinah? He had all kinds of races that were hostile towards each other to live peacefully under the open sky. Why would you be afraid of opening this institution to others if you claim to take the prophet as your example?” And the senior who was lost for words just left and slammed the door on him. Although stories like these do not happen everyday in UiTM as many students who share similar views to my friend here are usually fearful of the consequences of speaking openly."

Congratulations...!! am so proud...!! Go boy...!! Go conquer the world...!!

also read the follow up article on the same matter here : "Anak-anak Bangsa Malaysia, Speak up and Reclaim your country"

ok, ok... this will be my last post on this matter... case closed...!! sori yek... but was just so "upset" about the news sometime back... got to move on... hehehe...!

Holy shit...!!!

Sempena bulan posa yg dah nak sampai nih, bukan korang sajer yg dah mula shopping beli kain baju raya (posa belum start, daaaaahhh pikir nak raya.... apalah korang nih... hehehe...), aku pun dah mula start window shopping...

err... internet window shopping more precisely... pagi tadi start check rege/harga tiket nak balik Mesia....!! holy shit...!! paling murah AED3150... Etihad Airlines from Abu Dhabi... awat mahai sgt...? last year boley dpt AED2300 jer.... (same airline, promotion lepas musim panas)... check details of the price, baru discover.... alahai... tahun nih ada "fuel surcharge" daaa.... harga tiket AED2200 jer, tambah fuel surcharge and tax, langsung jadi AED3150.... kalau naik Emirates Airlines from Dubai, sure lagi mahalnyer...!!

sakit, sakit.... boley ker aku balik raya kat Mesia tahun nih...? nak balik seminggu jer, paling lama seminggu setengah... alahai... camna nih...? balik raya kena bagi duit raya lagi...!! kena pikiaq abih2 sebelum ambik keputusan... salah ambik keputusan, rabak poket aku sebulan dua...!!!

btw kengkawan, gentle reminder : Ramadan is a FASTING month, bukannya FEASTING month... elak2kan pembaziran, k...!!

Everlasting favourites....!!

walaupun di perantauan, sometimes, I just go to Youtube and look for all the nice old quality advertisements that our local talents have crafted.... not only for Petronas but also for other companies.... I must say that we have gone far in our advertisement industry and am proud to show to friends here what Malaysian talents have produced...

and of course, among the favourites are always Petronas advertisements, for all occasions (CNY, Raya, Deepavali, F1, Merdeka day... etc etc...). just look forward to watching them.... and here is another brilliant production...

behind all the nice Petronas advertisements, there are always a msg being delivered... (well, with subjective individual interpretation of course...). For this, apa kata survey...???

p/s did you all check out Yasmin's production for Singapore government...? check it out here . Huaa... am so proud one you know...!! that auntie Yasmin hor...,Ipoh mali some more... hehehe....

"Makcik nampak kunci motor saya tak...?"

enjoy... hehehe....!!

Antara CIA, FBI & PDRM

CIA, FBI dan PDRM masing2 nak membuktikan bahawa merekalah yg paling terrer bab2 jenayah ni. Jadi, si President pun buatlaa satu ujian utk mereka. Dia melepaskan seekor arnab ke dlm hutan dan menyuruh mereka mencarinya.


CIA masuk ke hutan. Mereka menempatkan binatang2 sebagai informer ke seluruh pelusuk hutan. Mereka juga menyoal-siasat segala pokok2 dan batu2 yg ada di dlm hutan. Selepas penyiasatan yg memakan masa selama 3 bulan, mereka membuat kesimpulan yg arnab itu tidak wujud.


Sampai giliran FBI pulak. Selepas 2 minggu ketiadaan sebarang petunjuk, mereka membakar hutan itu lalu membunuh segala hidupan di dlmnya, termasuklah arnab tadi. Mereka membuat kesimpulan yg sudah nasib si arnab tadi utk mati di dlm hutan itu.


PDRM pulak yg masuk. Mereka keluar 2 jam selepas itu dgn seekor beruang yg dah lembek sbb kena pukul. Beruang itu menjerit, 'OK, OK... aku arnab... aku arnab!!'

kuang kuang kuang....!!

"You don't make my blood go upstairs!!"

For more Julie Dahlan dialogue in
"Pengantin Popular" visit :

MIM on life

very d kelakar one...!!

hehehe... have fun...!!

Mandi bersama makhluk2 samudera...!!

sebenonya, teman ke Abu Dhabi sebab teman lapo...!! Oghang2 Mesia kat UAE nih lapo2 belaka, maka kita semua pun berpakat ler ghamai2 pegi ke Abu Dhabi semata2 nak makan.... nak makannnnnn... nak makannn.... SEAFOOD MANDI...!!!

Bukan pegi mandi laut daaaa... pegi makan Nasi Mandi.... inilah aktiviti2 MalaysianUAE group... jengjalang makang2... alang2 dah ada kat Abu Dhabi tuh, maka pegi ler tengok Picasso exhibition, dan cuci2 mata Marina mall.... (dan minum2 kopi kat Havana Cafe)

Geng2 yg pegi... briefing sebelum berkonvoi gi Abu Dhabi - 10 buah kete...

dengar cakap Tuan Puteri...!! kalau tak dgr, then sesat kang, mampus korang ler carik tempat makan tu sendiri2...!

dah sampai pun... sebelum ke restoran nih, kita org gi solat Jumaat dulu kat Masjid Sheikh Zayed... ladies & yg tak berkenaan go directly to the restaurant

sampai jer kat restoran tuh, depa yg dah sampai dulu tgh menunggu dgn penuh sabaq... makan atas lantai style Pak Arab....

dah terlebih budget ler... sambutan yg teramat baik menyebabkan kita orang terpaksa berasak2 dlm bilik yg budgetnya hanya muat utk 30 orang... yang dtg lebih 40 orang (termasuk beberapa geng dari Abu Dhabi yg menyambut kedatangan geng2 dari Dubai...)

inilah dia Mandi... nasi mandi laaa... utk dimakan, bukan utk mandi nasi lak...!!

depa hidang guna talam jaaaa.... lantak lak korang ambik nasi dari talam tuh...

sebab temanya adalah "Seafood mandi", so makanan2 iringan adalah : udang

udang lagi.... sedap udang nih.... 9/10...!!

dan ikan "parang" goreng (actually tak tahu ikan jenih apa, but dia potong sehiris2 camtu... ikan parang ler gaknya... bedal jer... janji sedap), sotong, ikan sherry panggang & daging kambing panggang... gambar2 sotong, ikan panggang & daging kambing panggang tak sempat ambik... sebabnya bila sampai kat Restoran tuh, dah lapaq sesangat... sampai jer makanan terus bedal... lapaq weh...! dari pagi tak makan2...

inilah hasilnya bila dah makan ramai2 nih... berterabuq...!! tapi memang sedap...!!

seperti biasa... makanan portion Pak Arab nih punyalah banyak dan berlebih... tapi tak apa, sebab kita org Mesia yg berhemat, maka kita tapau makanan2 lebih dan diberi kepada sesiapa yg nak (terutamanya yg bujang...!! Gua lah tuh...!!! hehe...)

perbelanjaan... AED50 duit makan seafood mandi, duit minyak DXB-AUH sebanyak AED25 sorang, lepas tuh gi minum2 kopi kat Marina mall (disulam dgn dessert & shisha) AED30... all together AED105 sekepala... OKlah, puas hati dan enjoy2 sambil melawat Abu Dhabi (dapat gi Masjid Sheikh Zayed & Emirates Palace Hotel lagi...).

Dan yang paling penting dapat merapatkan lagi silaturrahim sesapa geng2 Mesia kat UAE nih.... dapat jumpa geng2 baru yg baru sampai... Best...!!

Emirates Palace Abu Dhabi - self proclaimed 7star hotel

asalnya nak pi tengok Exhibition Picasso kat Abu Dhabi... tetapi, oleh kerana si Pablo Picasso nih tersangatlah geniusnya, gua tak paham amende sgt seni2 lukisan & kraftangannya... amendenya ntah ler : Blue periodlah, Rose periodlah, African Influenec period, Cubism period & Synthetic Cubism period... tiap2 2, 3 tahun, si Pablo nih naik boring gaknya (atau dtg bulan), maka dia akan tukar style kerja seninya... oleh sebab tak "celik seni", maka kebanyakan hasil seninya, I find a bit aneh & pelik... tapi kalau depa yg paham hal2 seni nih, sure depa ternganga, termangu tengok lukisan2 yg sgt power tuh... (power ker...? kurang siuman tak...? hehehe)

sebab tak paham, maka kita survey the venue of the exhibition. Emirates Palace Hotel. Konon2nya, hotel paling mahal kat Abu Dhabi ler... nih kira mcm nak "celen" hotel Burj Al-Arab kat Dubai ler nih

nih dia hotelnya, view from front

dihiasi dgn fountain2 depan hotelnya


koridornya (menuju exhibition room)


west wing (sebenornya exit utk parking)
East Wing (sebenonya entrance parking...)
air pancut menari2... (chee wah...!! boleh berkata2 hias begitu...? haha...)



main concourse : from down viewing the above dome
from below/concourse viewing the rooms

staircase to ballroom (nak buat "grand entry" kat sinilah tempatnya.... penuh glamer! ala2 ambik gambar sebelum masuk ke ballroom)
perhiasan sekitar staircase to the ballroom...

kesimpulannya, memang kelas...!!! cuma sekarang kena cuba masuk Burj AlArab lak, check mana lagi kelas.... (bukan boleh masuk gitu ja, kena ada reservation and spend money... abihlaaa duit aku....)