Have we forgotten our manners...?

ini bukan sesi lepas geram, tapi sesi "revisiting our past..."

sometimes, I just wonder... sebab kita terlalu sibuk dgn kehidupan seharian, running here and there, rushing right and left.., we don't get to visit friends and relatives that often, and somehow, due to our "busyness" and "forgetfullness", we sometimes forget our manners when we go visit friends.... so, let's review our culture again, and review what are the DOs and DON'Ts when visiting friends... (according to Malaysian culture)

1. call in advance

this is not typically Malaysian, but out of courtesy, talipon la dulu sebelum pegi menjerkah kat depan pintu kengkawan tuh... this is the least that you can do. respect other people's privacy, close not close, kasik warning that you wanna drop by... tak ler kelam kabut geng tuh... just enough time so that the friends/relatives have time to siap2, and not long enough to avoid them from preparing lunch, tea and dinner to welcome you (kalau ada sedara mara yg camtu ler, which is very common in the kampungs...)

2. bawak buah tangan...

kalo dah lama tak jumpa, make an effort to bring some "buah tangan".... if you are from far away, bring something from where you come from... fruit is very common as buah tangan, or local delicacies/cookies... they don't cost much, and your host will appreciate it very much...

3. no visitors after 10pm

be considerate, people also wanna have some rest. no visiting after 10pm, and if you are alrdy there before 10pm, try to leave before 11pm...

4. avoiding lunch/dinner...

it is common that your host will either invite you for lunch/dinner, or have alrdy prepared lunch/dinner for your visit. it might be less true nowadays especially with "town people", but this will definitely happen if you visit friends and relatives in the kampungs... it might be a pain to some of us (eating and eating and eating....), but you can avoid it :

• give notice to friends or relatives that you are coming, enough time for them to get organized (kemas2 rumah), but not enough to start cooking...
• if you know that they have the habit of preparing food for your arrival, and you are close enough to them, tell them that you are visiting to see them, not to have lunch/dinner with them... tell nicely
• avoid lunch/dinner time... visit after 10am, before 11h30am... then between 2pm and 6pm... then after 8pm till 10pm...

those are some of the tips that I have learned from my parents... My dad, being a teacher and still trying very much to preserve traditions, have been instrumental in me trying to do the same... sometimes, some small gestures and efforts from our part, make us more "learned" and have some "class"...

let's emulate the Japanese... "Master of the future, and Guardian of the past..."

I love my country, I love my culture...