Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A different procedure all together....:)

"Drive Through ATM Procedures"


Please note that Banks are installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up.

MALE PROCEDURE

  1. Drive up to the cash machine.
  2. Put down your car window.
  3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
  4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
  5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
  6. Put window up.
  7. Drive off.


    FEMALE PROCEDURE

  1. Drive up to cash machine.
  2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.
  3. Set parking Brake, Put the window down.
  4. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.
  5. Turn the radio down.
  6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
  7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
  8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
  9. Insert card.
  10. Re-insert card the right side up
  11. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
  12. Enter PIN.
  13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
  14. Enter amount of cash required.
  15. Check make up in rear view mirror.
  16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
  17. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
  18. Place receipt in back of checkbook.
  19. Re-check make-up again.
  20. Drive forwards 2 feet.
  21. Reverse back to cash machine.
  22. Retrieve card.
  23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
  24. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind.
  25. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
  26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
  27. Release Parking Brake.

5 comments:

PUTUBAMBU said...

ek'eleh..tak baik tau..!

adalah tidak benar sama-sekali..

tak semua pompuan slow gitu tau..!

wahaza extra said...

You miss a couple;

1. Wrongly release pedal break, without changing the gear to 'N'.
2. Wrongly press the rear sliding mirror.
3. Make the phone call to husband, how much to withdraw;

Probably some would turn of the key, and put in the hand bag so...
After no 5,
4. Put the key inside the handbag.
after 19, looking for key inside the hand bag.

Wait 26, smell a burning thingy, and call the husband freak out or probably call AAM.

Zuer said...

ermmm ada 27 procedure !!!! beza ngan laki 20...Nie lah namanya L*mb*b !!!

Anonymous said...

feeling down but the joke cheered me up - thnx

Kembara Musafir said...

PB,... gua, no komen... gua cut & paste jer... (hehehe...)

Wahaza, tak baik ko... kang PB marah2 giler lagi kang...!! bak aku kata kat PB, "gua, no komen"... (senyum2 sendiri jer... haha)

Zuer, err... aper2 hal terjadi kat ko lepas nih, gua tak nak ambik tanggungjawab, k...! ko komen camtu, kang kena boikot 7 keturunan ko nanti...

anonymous... good that you enjoyed it...:)